Obsession
by Justice of the People
Summary: Logically, I knew I should return him to the temple, but it was so hard to return him when he was finally mine. Xanatos PoV. SLASH
1. Obsession

**Warning**: Anyone here who thinks that this is going to be anything like my other Xanatos/Obi-Wan stories might be a little upset. This is not like _Tainted Love_, _Shattered Love_, or even _Every You and Every Me_. This is darker, and a lot more twisted. The title says it all. Consider yourselves warned.

**_Obsession _**

Still your thoughts compress and you weep and sigh inside  
Adolescent naïveté spawned my optimism  
Whose head you wore on your coat of arms  
You're the champion of my bleeding heart.

-Vendetta Red

The pull was _unbearable_.

It had been there for years, the horrible ache when he was away from me was only worse when he was near me. So painfully close.

I frequently returned to Coruscant – a dangerous place for someone who's supposed to be dead – to see him. He's older now, more appealing. That didn't help. Eventually I broke down and did something very, very stupid.

He was at Splendor, possibly getting information for an on-planet mission, when I lost my mind. I had followed him there, like I had followed him in the past (I'm hesitant to call it stalking, since that implies some sort of malicious intent), not actually intending to do anything, just to watch him. But he was so vulnerable, more helpless than he must realize, and I had the opportunity. I was never one to ignore a possible route to my own happiness, though I was often inconsiderate of others'.

It was so simple, so laughably easy. I force pushed a tray out of some random waitress's hands and, during the commotion, slipped the chemicals into the boy's drink. He didn't even notice my presence. I never really knew why I started carrying the knockout drug on me – I suppose I was subconsciously waiting for that moment.

And then I had him, asleep and so innocent. Logically, I knew I should return him to the temple. I didn't want to arouse my old master's suspicion to my return – or his suspicion that anything had happened to his precious Padawan.

But it was so hard to return him when he was finally _mine_.

Except he wasn't, and I had to keep reminding myself that. If he had actually belonged to me I wouldn't have had to kidnap him – he would have come on his own accord. He wasn't my property, and when he awoke he would be scared.

But, frankly, I couldn't bring myself to care.

It wasn't a matter of apathy – I had never suffered from that – it was merely a matter of selfishness. I wanted him, and I would have him. The means to that end were completely and utterly irrelevant, and they did not concern me. He would hate me at first, but not forever.

And if I was lucky, maybe not even very long.

It is possible that he hates being a Jedi. It doesn't feel very likely to me, but that doesn't mean that it's untrue. He might thank me.

He might want me too.

That thought was far more agreeable to me than any of the previous, though the latter was the least likely. He loved being a Jedi, and I knew this. He loved it more than I could ever expect him to love me.

But I'd take my chances.

So that's where I found myself: in a room with a sleeping angel who very well might try to kill me when he awoke, but if I had to die by anyone's hands…

I brushed some stray hairs off his forehead and pressed my lips against it. Even his skin tasted sweet.

He would wake up soon; I'd have to keep drugging him to avoid that, which I would not do. He wouldn't be happy when he awoke, and the outcome of his anger and the anger that he's sure to spurn in me is unpredictable. But I have this for now.

And I'll have him always, even if I let him leave. No one will ever be with him that doesn't know he was belonged to me _first_.

I was shocked that it hadn't occurred to me before then – it seemed like something that should have been in my mind since the beginning. But then again the boy shuts down my brain. It probably was always there, just dormant; much like my need to carry knockout chemicals with me.

This would make him even more furious, but I found that, once again, I couldn't bring myself to care. I wouldn't expect him to understand – he doesn't know what it's like to have everything stolen from you.

There would be no stealing this.

Conveniently, I still had the original. Another thing I couldn't explain to myself. I never knew why I kept it, I just did.

I pulled the ring out of a small case next to my sleepcouch. It was already mutated and burnt, one side missing. It was already a symbol that they both hated.

It was already perfect.

After rolling back the boy's sleeve I slid on my gloves and laid the distorted ring on a small table. I didn't have anything to heat it with except my lightsaber, but that seemed fitting enough. It took only a few moments to get the ring to glow a satisfying red. It took even less time to grip his wrist in my left hand and push the ring against the smooth side of his forearm with my right.

He jerked in his sleep, but the drugs kept him unconscious. The blackened smell of burnt flesh twisted around my nose, but I ignored it, instead focusing on the sizzling of burning skin. Somehow, that was far more appealing.

After a few moments I pulled the ring back, dropping the hot token in its case again. I didn't care if it burnt the wood.

The skin curled back into the broken circle shape, the burnt flesh already darkened and blistering. It was probably second degree; it would leave the mark just fine. I smiled when I laid his arm back down.

He started to sweat in his sleep and I wiped off his face with my sleeve before kissing his cheek.

It is possible that when he wakes up now he'll see how much he matters to me.

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**A/N**: Please Review!


	2. Awakening

**WARNING**: Rape, pretty low-key but I would still recommend anyone sensitive to this material not read the story. 

**_Obsession: Awakening_**

I was fast asleep dreaming I was rain  
I fell from the clouds to touch your frame  
But you just hid your face beneath you hands now  
Delirium is soothing me  
Just close your eyes go to sleep

-Vendetta Red

I cradled him against me, his head melding perfectly between my shoulder and my neck. Everything about him was intoxicating – his smell, the smoothness of his skin, the way his breath felt on my cheek.

I knew I should move away from him, so that he would not be startled when he woke up.

But I didn't.

It was his fault. If he wasn't so undeniably irresistible, if he wasn't so completely trusting, I might have been able to control myself. As it were, I couldn't think of a more appealing being in the whole galaxy.

He stirred in my arms, and I kissed his forehead. He would wake up any second, and I was going to enjoy in the peace while I could.

"Wah?" He said incoherently, still half unconscious. "Where am I?"

He glanced up in my embrace, then immediately jerked away. I had expected that.

"Xanatos?" He asked in a shocked voice.

I nodded and, despite my feelings, couldn't resist taunting him just a little. "Miss me?"

He stared at me in obvious horror. "Did you kidnap me? Why did you bring me here?"

I smiled at him. "I'm saving you."

It was true, no matter what he thought of me, a life away from the Jedi is better than where he is.

He looked especially nervous then, so I bit back a smile and waited for him to speak. I had begun to think that I loved him more when he was sleeping – then he awoke and spoke to me in that beautiful voice. I would love to be able to claim that voice so only I would ever hear it, so that it was mine alone. The sounds of pleasure I could produce from that voice, if given the chance, would be even lovelier.

Now it was all in my grasp.

"Save me?" Obi-Wan finally said, still shocked. "From the Jedi?"

"Of course."

"I don't want to be saved!" Obi-Wan snapped. "Why would you want to help me anyway?"

Ah there it was. The important question I had been waiting for.

I leaned forward and gripped his face in my hands. He flinched at my touch, but didn't pull away. That was a good sign.

"I don't have to explain myself to you," the words slipped easily from my tongue. "And you belong to me." I lifted his arm to show him the burn.

At that point he did pull away from me, and stared in horror at the desecration of his perfect flesh.

"What have you done?" Obi-Wan demanded, his voice hot with anger.

"Claimed you," I replied simply.

"By _branding_ me? Like cattle on a Galian Ranch?"

"I suppose you could look at it that way." His distress was really very amusing.

"How long am I going to be a prisoner here?" He asked warily.

I raised an eyebrow. "You clearly haven't been paying attention."

Obi-Wan glared at me. "I'm not a stray pet, you can't just _keep_ me."

"Are you sure? Because it looks as if I can. You need five number sequences to open the door to this room, none of which you have. Oh," I smirked at him, "and you're missing another key component in escaping."

Obi-Wan immediately glanced at his belt. "My lightsaber…"

"It's safe," I told him. "I would have given it back if you were more… _cooperative_."

"Xanatos," there was a slight edge of pleading in his voice. "You have to let me go."

"I _have_ to?"

"I don't want to be here!"

And that was where everything went from bad to worse. You see, I have a bit of an ego problem. My pride is probably more abundant than my greed, and having Obi-Wan blatantly refuse me was a bit trying on said arrogance.

I also have a bit of a temper.

"You don't _want_ to be here?" I demanded, not bothering to hide the anger in my voice. "What gives you the right to say that? Who do you think you _are_?"

Obi-Wan shrunk back slightly. Good, I made my impression. He clearly understood his mistake, but that didn't mean that I wasn't still irritated.

I grabbed his upper arm and yanked him forward until he was only an inch from me.

"You should be honored that I'm wasting my precious time on you; clearly I could be doing something more important. I have other things to worry about."

Obi-Wan stared at me with an unreadable expression – if you didn't know him. But nobody knows that specific Jedi better than me, and I comprehended the way he looked at me. He was afraid.

I didn't blame him. In fact, I reveled in it. I would make him love me, but in that love he would _always_ fear me. If he ever stopped, I don't think that I would want him anymore.

I brushed my lips along his sensitive throat and felt him shiver at the contact. I knew it. I trailed kisses up his jawline before crushing my lips against his own, biting down on his lower lip hard.

Even his blood tasted sweet.

He gasped at the pain as the metallic liquid spilled in both our mouths and pulled back, but only because I allowed him to.

The blood dripped down his chin, but he just stared at me. He was in a state of shock; I sometimes have that effect on lovers. I should have been patient; I knew that he wasn't used to these kinds of things.

But I was.

It wasn't entirely my fault; he was to blame as well.

He was just so _innocent_. It was enticing beyond anything imaginable.

I leaned forward again and kissed him even more forcibly. He resisted for a moment, and it was like kissing a duracrete wall. His hesitation did not, however, last long. I didn't expect it to.

When he finally rendered to my will it was still a little… disinclined, somehow. He would let me kiss him, but sometimes he would pull back, as if his senses had returned to him for a split second. But that short time was all Qui-Gon had before he was mine again.

I threw his belt across the room and pulled off his tunic, despite his protests. He couldn't actually expect me to stop now.

But then again, he was very naïve.

I placed kisses along his chest and I saw how he tried not to arch against me. He desired me, but once again I was not surprised. He might have wanted me for a long time, maybe even since he was thirteen. It was impossible to know, and he would never tell me.

I discarded my own clothes and pushed him down. He grabbed my wrists in a type of dissent, but I shook him off easily.

I think some of the chemicals were still in his system, but I was too far-gone to care.

Despite my knowledge and complete assurance that everything I was doing that night was a complete mistake I would be lying if I said I regretted it. There's a difference between acknowledging the stupidity of one's actions and being remorseful.

I couldn't, or wouldn't, force myself to feel compunction after the way he said my name, or the way he told me to stop while he clung to me. His mouth left bruises on my body while tears streamed down his face. I'll never forget the color of his eyes in that light. He felt even better than I had expected him to.

I pulled out of his embrace when it was over, at that moment fully comprehending my stupid mistake. Qui-Gon would be looking for him by now, and the last thing I needed was my old master's knowledge of my whereabouts, or of my very existence for that matter.

Obi-Wan watched me, clearly unsure now of where we stood.

We stood nowhere. Not now, at least. Qui-Gon couldn't keep him forever; especially not after the night he shared with me. He would think about it. He would dream about it, and he would long for it.

But, for the moment, I had to drug him again, and return him to a place where his master would happen upon him. Someplace safe and convenient. Before I could have him all the time I had to deal with Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan would have to wait.

We have plenty of time.

**FIN**

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**A/N**: Short, but I hope you guys enjoyed it!


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